I just wonder how you doing

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

Heyya! Just nak post something before aku nak start study. Minggu depan dah start test except for the Aeromechanic. Target, aku nak skor all the tests. Sem ni aku tak nak main-main. Subjek semakin tough.

Engineering Mathematics2
Thermofluids
Electric and Electronic
Aeromechanics
Hub etnik
Agricultutre
Bahasa Sepanyol

Ada lagi ke? ni je kot. Hehe..lupa.... Tapi sem ni will be tougher for me. I participate in many things. Palapes satu hal. Haishhh... nak stop tak sampai hati tengok kawan-kawan yang lain.

Tapi palapes tu macam satu beban untuk aku. The training have no life. Protocol and all the things. And elaun pun satu hal.

Whatever it is, aku nak try yang terbaik. Aku tak nak gagal. Harith, saya nak buktikan. Saya boleh berjaya tanpa awak. Seeing you happy really hurts me. Hurts me too deep.

Amira... Yes. Im finding my strength

look, Im smiling 

Tapi kadang-kadang terpikir. Apa yang dia tengah buat sekarang. Sakitkah? Sebab aku tahu dia senang sakit. Batuk selsema demam sakit perut dan sebagainya. Sihatkah? Kalau ye, Alhamdulillah.

Hari-hari tanpanya 

Moanday

Tearsday

Wasteday

Thirstday

Frightday

Shatterday

Sadday

Ya Allah, kau buangkanlah ingatanku tentang dirinya. 

Lupakan terus tentang dirinya. Aku dah tak sanggup nak memikirkannya tiap masa.

Ya Allah, berilah kegembiraan dalam hari-hari ku di duniamu ini.

ok... Im trying to smile

1,2,...

smile :)

harith, saya boleh tersenyum walau tanpa awak

workload :)

bismillahirrahmanirrahim... :)

assalamualaikum miss bloggy...

alhamdulillah... aku diberi kesempatan sekali lagi untuk menaip sesuatu.

today is friday, the most purest day. The best day ever... full with barakah.

Abu Huraira reported the Apostle of Allah (may peace be upon him) as saying: “The best day on which the sun has risen is Friday; on it Adam was created. on it he was made to enter Paradise , on it he was expelled from it. And the last hour will take place on no day other than Friday.” [Sahih Muslim, Book 004, Number 1857]

 Allah, why you so nice to me? you give me everything that I want. I believe you with no doubt. Im worshipping you even I always made mistakes. you give me health, food, drinks, home, family, love and many more. but still, i feel that im being tested. tested by you... why you done such way. Allah. answer me.

I made dua's(sometimes when i wanna make it). Forgive me Allah. its like im worshipping you when i feel i wanna make it. so damn ridiculous amira. yeah, my mistakes. 

i always being testes by Him. But i know, Allah will never test something that I cant barely face by my own. there will be thousands of hikmah of what he is doing. right?

dear readers or anyone that suddenly stuck into my dear bloggy... Do you know that every questions actually have mention the answers in the quran. Quran, the book for all peoples around the world. The book that actually give you the direction of where you wanna go.

Allah, answer me! Why im being tested? why must i have problem that involve with the moneys, love, and my study and even my senior? why must thing about love stuck me and make my life worse? why not you just give me happiness everyday? why must im being tested this way? why Allah?

Allah answers me:  “Do men think that they will be left alone saying, ’We believe’, and that they will not be tested? We did test those before them, and Allaah will certainly know those who are true from those who are false.”

Allah, answer me! why I dont get something that I want???? i want to pursue my actuarial study in overseas. but now, im studying aerospace engineering here. why allah? why it seems hard for me to get something that i want? why allah you give me things that i dont want! 

you know what allah answer me? 

”It is possible that you dislike a thing which is good for you, and that you love a thing, which is bad for you. But Allaah knows, while you know not.” Surah Al-Baqarah [2:216]

 the things i wanna stress here is, maybe that course is too tough for me. maybe i cant handle my own self when too far away from my family. yeah, i never expect that im in this course. but i dont know why i put this as my first choice in upu. its annoyed me a lot. 

ALLAH, why was I burdened this way?  

And, readers, I dont have any idea why I joined the Rotu. Reserve official training units. Its not about the money. But experience. I do love my experiences in KDSK. But I hate when the trainings involve with the seniors. Like seriously, I hate when people ask me to do this and that. I hate when peoples think they are in high rank. FOR ME THAT WAS BULLSHIT! I hate when people use curse words! (Panggil aku celaka bagai, lembab, bodoh semua) That was not the way to train people. That was bullshit. I never heard of past story, our muslim greatest naval team use this habit to train people.

Is there still people on earth have a very beautiful characters as Sultan al-fateh? The greatest naval leader on earth, if you have read his story.

Yeah, I think this was burdened me so seriously. I have no heart anymore. Sometimes I hate them!

I hate those peoples. :( I dont want to hate anyone....

 Allah answers me in the quran. 

“Allaah does not place a burden to a soul greater than it can bear. It gets every good that it earns, and it suffers every ill that it earns.” Surah Al-Baqarah [2:286] & “So verily, with every difficulty there is relief: (repeated) Verily, with every difficulty there is relief.” Surah Al-Insyirah [94:5-6]

Maybe, its about my characters that cant bear with those peoples. Lets see how long I can stand with the team. Palapes always burdened me into something that I dont like. My time, and money. Maybe this test only temporary, or maybe it lasts untill my graduation. Haha... 


Allah, why I lose hope? And how I can face it?? 

Quran answers: “So lose not heart, nor fall into despair…” Surah Al-Imran [3:139]

Quran answers: ” O you who believe! Persevere in patience and constancy; compete in such perseverance; strengthen each other; and fear Allaah that you may prosper.” Surah Al-Imran [3:200] 

“And seek (Allaah’s) help with patience, perseverance and prayer: It is indeed hard, except to those who bring a humbly submissive (to Allaah).” Surah Al-Baqarah [2:45]


Allah... what do I get for all this? Answer me......................................................

 “Indeed, Allaah has purchased from the believers their lives and properties (in exchange) for that they will have the garden (of Paradise)…” Surah At-Taubah [9:111]

Later...awayyyy for a while

aku dan hidup baru :)

meet my beautiful samantha's daughter, carly :) comel sangat.... and sangat manjaaaa macam Samanthaaa... love you meowwww meowwww

aku dan air mata

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim… Alhamdulillah… Aku masih mampu nak menaip.

Aku saja nak scroll post2 aku sebelum2 ni. Ye..ada pasal Harith. Aku tak boleh tipu diri aku yang aku tak sedih dengan situasi sekarang. Sedih sangat. Sampai tak pergi kelas and all of that. Teruk betul aku. Sebenarnya aku tak suka word couple ke single ke. Sebab aku tak tahu nak jawab apa kalau orang Tanya aku ni status apa… Dulu aku couple ke? Hehe…but now… aku tak kisah nak cakap yang aku single. Yes Im really happy for this title.

Alhamdulillah sangat-sangat. Allah sayang aku rupanya.

The only thing yang dapat redakan perasaan aku ialah, bila aku bersangka baik dengan Dia.

 For hours, days and nights im wasted my salt solution pikir psl ni. Aku tahu Harith dah tak sayangkan aku. Things cant be changed. So, what for im still waiting for him. Tapi, Allah je tahu betapa pedih yang aku rasa. Aku menyendiri macam anti-sosial. Tak ada keyakinan. Aku rasa aku loser. Aku rasa tak nak hidup dah. Aku rasa macam nak hapuskan sisa hidup aku cepat-cepat. Bodohnya aku. Aku ni bodoh juga kadang-kadang. Harith, maafkan am… am dah tak mampu nak pertahankan hubungan kita sendirian. Awak biarkan saya sorang-sorang. Awak buat saya rasa macam loser. Saya sedih tau. Saya tak sukakan air mata.  Saya tak nak ingat janji dulu. Pedih. Tapi… Alhamdulillah… you seems changed to be better. Mungkin ni hikmah kita berpisah kan awak. Awak jaga dia baik-baik… dia perempuan baik. Susah nak jumpa tau.

Bad thoughts L seperti dibawah.

Rupanya aku bodoh sebab percaya kata-katanya kelmarin dan semalam.

Harith….awak tipu saya… awak tahu tak sakit bila kena tipu. Awak kata awak sayang saya lagi.

Rupanya aku memang bodoh sebab tak sedar orang lain yang sayangkan aku.

Saya hilang awak. Saya tak hilang Allah. Saya tak hilang kawan-kawan saya. Saya ada aisyah, wawa, fiqa, kimu, shaera, anusha, omar, alias dan senior mat. Yang paling penting, tuan pun sayang saya J

Kepada tuan, am minta maaf sebab tipu awak. Yang saya pergi kosas and jumpa omar, paul dan adry tu sebab am sedih dengan nasib am. Am sedih harith sayang orang lain. Am tak mampu nak jujur sebab tak nak tengok awak sedih. Am call omar sebab am perlukan someone. Im really need someone that time. Intan solat time tu kat bilik. Am minta nak jumpa omar. Am luah kat dia. Then, paul dan adry datang. Am tak expect I could be that worse. Am tak pernah rasa sakit macam tu.

Tuan, maafkan am.

Maafkan sebab pilih jalan ini. Am tak nak kita rush. Am tahu am dah sakiti hati tuan. Am terpaksa. Am nak buang beban ni. Am sayang tuan. Tapi, am takut ditinggalkan lagi. Am nak jaga hubungan kita baik-baik. Kita baru je dalam proses nak mengenali. Beri am masa. Am mohon. Terima kasih sebab baik sangat dengan am. Tapi am harap tuan tak salah paham. Am bukan nak ambil kesempatan ataupun simpati terhadap tuan… bukan macam tu.

Thanks aisyah bagi am semangat balik. Am cakap am takut tak ada orang sayang am. Aisyah balas,

Aisyah: Ada Am , ada

Cuma Allah simpan orng tu baik baik ,kemas kemas spya nnti dia syng Am soraaang je.

Tu apa yang aku harapkan. inshaaAllah. Sekarang aku rasa kuat. Aku ada Allah! No way look back. Aku nak focus belajar. Aku nak score. Aku nak kejar akhirat. Allah, permudahkan urusanku.

Aku tak nak pikir dah pasal benda macam ni. Sebab akhirnya aku yang terluka.

Aku selalu pikir, Allah sayang aku. Walaupun aku buat banyak dosa. Ujian macam ni buat aku teringat kat dia sedalam-dalamnya.

Maafkan aku ya allah :’(